Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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