So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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