I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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