he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
