you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize