GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you win again, gameday.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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