we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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