he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
