I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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