So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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