Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
