i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
