I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
