Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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