it hurts more in the daytime
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I touched a dick in church today
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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