i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
