You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
