You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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