She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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