His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
