Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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