He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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