You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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