I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
