Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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