so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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