I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
