Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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