he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
