yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
