I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
