You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
