Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
