question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
