But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You took a bar mat shot.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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