i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
