I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
