Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
