ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
