I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
