I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
