I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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