I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
