You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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