i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize