that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We are all done wearing pants today
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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