She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You need a sexual gate keeper
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
