All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
