she was so not down for the gang bang
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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