shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
