Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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