I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
