Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
