i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize