She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
