There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
After last night, I could never be a politician.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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