I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
