can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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