I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
