Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
